To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
