do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
