i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
