I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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