You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
