Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well I just put wine in my tea
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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