so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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