Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
