i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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