I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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