You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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