R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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