Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
