Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think I just sharted jello shots
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
