We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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