At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize