what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize