Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
did i just pee glitter
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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