Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
