My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize