My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
