is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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