I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
