Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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