Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
