Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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