Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
