I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
