Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
