Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
