Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
