I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
