Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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