Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Life is so much better after having sex.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
