so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Welp...herpes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
