It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
