Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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