I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
