it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
