He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize