My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
