this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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