Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
