Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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