Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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