i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
