My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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