I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
