im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
