The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I need to stop coming to work sober
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
