he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
