theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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