I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
