I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
