Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
