dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
