The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
