I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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