Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
