I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
