i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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