We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
