It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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