dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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