Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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